As I stand alone in the rain, watching the train pull away I fleetingly wonder whether I am right or whether I have misinterpreted the message. There is nothing here. Nothing but gray and wind and rain and a feeling of a place that time has passed on by and left crumbling. Something from an earlier age. Darkness comes quickly. Settling like a blanket over the bleak surrounds of the station.Once the last of the daylight has faded I hear it. Distant at first. A chuffing noise. A train, but slightly off somehow. Different. Surely it can't be a train? I know that there are no more due today. I checked. Yet still the noise gets louder. It is only when it rounds the bend and pulls slowly in to the station that it becomes apparent.It is a steam train. A huge, black steam train that has stopped two platforms across from me, running on one of the abandoned lines. I hover for a second and then I am off, legs pumping. Racing for the bridge that will take me over to the correct platform.When. After a few minutes, you have not reappeared, and I open the bathroom door slowly and find you sitting on the edge of the bath, in the robe, head down looking at the floor, your hands white where you are gripping the side of the bath so hard. I want to reassure you, to talk to you, but I know I need to take control and force you into the situation you crave, I cannot allow you to over think the situation, to frighten yourself out of it. If I do, you will never come this far again. Finger by finger, I loosen your grip on the bath, and holding your hands, I force you to your feet and lead you into the main room. I position you in front of the full length mirror and move to stand close behind you. My foot moves between yours, and slowly I apply pressure till you move one leg to the side, now standing with your legs slightly open. I know you have only been with one man before, your husband, and then always in bed with the lights off, so what you know is coming next fills you with dread..
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